You write a book.
You click publish.

The End, right?

Never…in a million…years.

Not The One is live on iBooks now. It goes live everywhere else December 8. My book baby is live and it’s funny because people have no idea what goes on behind the scenes when it comes to writing a book. The anxiety, the stress, the writing and rewriting…and most importantly…

The self doubt. 

During the editing process of Not The One, I became depressed. Reyna Miracle is the darkest character I have ever written…and I didn’t just write her…I lived in her. In my book, my heart was in London at the fourth floor Pimlico flat she lived in. She pulled me into the darkness with her. And I nearly drowned.

There was one night when I was laying in bed and stricken with grief over my story. I hated it. I  hated everything about it. I was sick to my stomach about messing it all up. I even angry-typed a horrid message into my phone. Prepare yourself…I was in a dark place:

The Dirty Truth:
There is so much self doubt in the writing process. Every book I release, I have a moment of heartache and pain and disappointment…and it is one thousand percent in myself. My aching heart tells me to stop doing what I’m doing. It screams, stop releasing mediocre crap! Just go back to reading and enjoying the fruits of someone else’s labor that will most certainly always be better than your own. And oh my god would that be a hell of a lot easier! And when you pour countless hours of your heart and soul, blood, sweat, and tears….real freaking tears…all into a blah story that’s just “eh” …. It hurts. It’s gut wrenching and you wish you could take it all back.
Every dull word. Every wasted minute. Every shred of hope.
That’s the life of a writer.

I told you…Reyna Miracle took me down the rabbit hole.

But then….THEN! You get the most magical review you’ve ever received. A review that literally stops your heart, stops your breath, stops the world from spinning…and just IS.

Goodreads review from Hopelessly Devoted to Books Blog: 
“This.Book.Broke.Me! This is the book that pushed Amy into a whole new league! She isn’t trading on a simple love story, this isn’t about her sense of humour, this is the book where she stepped out of the ”norm” she has done something here that, personally, i think is remarkable….Amy Daws has created an original idea! She’s written a story about a woman that saved herself. A woman on the brink of utter destruction. She’s the voice that pumps blood around Reyna’s body…but Reyna’s voice? This character is as real to me as my own son. I adore her. I sincerely doubt that any other author could’ve pulled this off and i salute you Madam Daws! And more importantly…i thank you. I thank you for spreading hope, i thank you for melting my heart a little and i thank you for staying true to Reyna’s voice…you’ve done us both proud!
5 Stars and my official book of the year…perhaps of all time.” 

And just like that, you remember why you do this all the bloody hell over again…because…

Happy iBooks release week Not The One…dang you hurt…but the pain is worth this one magical review.