Nevaeh Peace

In honor of the 1-Year Angelversary of my sixth pregnancy loss, I’d like to share an excerpt from Chasing Peace. Chasing Peace is the sequel to Chasing Hope and tells the story of my beautiful angel, Neveah Peace. She was my most painful loss to date. This is a hard day today and it sometimes feels like it only happened yesterday. I miss you sweet baby, I can still feel you resting quietly on my heart.

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Chasing Peace:
As the medical team pushed the bed and me down the hall, I felt so very alone and so very sad. Kevin was instructed to wait in Labor and Delivery Triage. I can’t imagine the sight of watching your significant other get wheeled away to emergency surgery while you have to stay back, helpless and alone.
I was crying softly when one of the nurses reached under the blanket and grabbed my hand. She rubbed it soothingly as we passed through the maize of hallways and hospital corridors. It felt like we were moving at warp speed, but her strokes were soft and sincere. I remember her telling me over and over that it was going to be all right. She only stopped stroking my hand when we reached the O.R. and they needed to transfer me to the operating table.
Staring up at the ceiling, the medical team all busied themselves prepping me for surgery. Even with a huge team of people around me, it still felt like it was just me and my little baby in the room. I took a moment and rubbed my small belly. I whispered softly, “Good-bye my little fighter. I’m so so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could have kept you, but I can’t.” I sobbed loudly knowing my baby was alive inside me but they had to take her out anyways. Tears streamed down my temples and into my hairline.
The anesthesiologist came over with a washcloth and wiped away the moisture on my face. He didn’t say anything encouraging. He didn’t tell me I was going to be alright. He just wiped my tears. That silence screamed volumes. He knew. He knew what a horrible and rotten situation this was and since words failed him, he offered a simple touch instead. Eventually he put a mask over my face and told me to take ten deep breaths. Before I passed out, the last thing I remember was my own hand continually rubbing my small belly.
~Chasing Peace, A Memoir by Amy Daws
http://bit.ly/1GLMvt4

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The mold of our sweet
Nevaeh Peace. 903228_10100539417340503_477447998_o

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our very special Dragon Fly Christmas tree. An ornament for each sweet angel. 983720_10100730997182963_5730351640912031139_n

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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QUEEN CITY WHAAAA?

2014-10-22 09.16.39Holy Cincinnati Batman! In less than 24 hours, I’ll be on my way to Ohio for the Queen City Indie Con! Samantha Young and Abbi Glines are keynote speakers and I can’t tell you what it will be like for me to meet these amazing ladies. I was trying to explain to the ‘ol ball and chain what a big deal this was and I had to use sports references to get him to fully comprehend. Men.

My sister and sister-in-law are coming along. I’ve dubbed my sister as my official assistant and my sister-in-law as my official hair stylist. 🙂 Hopefully nobody finds out we’re related and they are totally unpaid or that will really ruin my cool factor.

And, as if I didn’t have enough to get ready for this conference, I’ve decided to do a cover reveal of my new upcoming romance novel, Becoming Us. I’ll have a print out of the amazing cover to show off at the conference on Saturday and lots of awesome-sauce bloggers on board to post about it! Should be frackin fresh! I’m really excited for this new project…says every author always. But I really mean it!

Anyways, without further ado, here’s the banner of the final signing authors. My name looks awesome sandwiched between two legit Amy Authors. Maybe they’ll mistake me for one of them and I’ll sell a few books that way!

And oh yeah, I’ve requested a unicorn upon my arrival, so we’ll see how that goes. I’ll keep you posted.

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You Are Enough

enough
Today is National Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. Just saying those words is depressing isn’t it? The fact that pregnancy loss happens to so many people that we need to designate a day to raise awareness just sucks. It sucks bad. But there it is….so now what? We’re talking about it, posting about it, tweeting about it. But what’s it really doing? Who’s it really helping?

When I started writing Chasing Hope, I wanted to write it just to get the nightmares out of my head. And to show to my family the true  trauma Kevin and I went through. No one knew and it was killing me that I had endured these ugly, life altering events and no one had any inkling the scary situations we were put in.

But something happened during my writing process. Something amazing. Hope found a way of sneaking in. HOPE of all things! After five losses in a row…five gory, ugly, bloody losses….how they heck could HOPE get in there? But it did. I laugh because the working titles of my book were nowhere near “Chasing Hope.” But it was like my story wanted to name itself by the time it was all over.

Maybe it’s because I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a daughter. After all our pain and anguish, I was granted a sassy, spirited little toddler with curly hair, big eyes and has miracle baby plastered all over her precious chubby face. Getting her granted me perspective. Getting her made me proud of my HOPE and not embarrassed by it.

But I know there are so so many couples out there right now that are grieving their losses without a little miracle to comfort them. And my heart breaks for them because we had those tragic, dark days too. Those days where I would hole up in our home office with the lights off and just cry and cry and cry and pray that hubby wouldn’t come in because I was just so so tired of sympathy.

So, try this thought on for size…

I am not going to give those couples sympathy today. I’m not going to give them awareness. I’m not even going to give them HOPE.

I’m going to give them a glimmer of the BIG PICTURE. The BIG PICTURE…is that someday, it will all make sense. I PROMISE you. Someday you WILL find your purpose, you will find your PEACE. You will find your own ENDING. It may not end with a child, as hard of a pill that is to swallow, it’s a distinct possibility. But you have to find a way to make yourself okay. You have to find a way to make yourself be ENOUGH. Because you are ENOUGH.

Grieve your losses today. Light your candles. Hug your spouses. But look into each other’s eyes and say, even without all of this…YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

parking lot excerpt

October-Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Month

In honor of October being pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, I’ll be dropping my Chasing Hope e-books to $2.99 for the entire month. Finding something to connect to when you are grieving a loss can make all the difference in the world. I love connecting with my readers and sharing in their grief, sorrow, heart-ache, and especially HOPE. This picture is an excerpt in the acknowledgements section of my new novel. Even though I’d rather have these babies here with me….the gift their short existence has given me is worth more than I can fathom. I’ll love them forever.
#chasinghope #chasinghopealways #infantlossawareness #pregnancylossawarenessmonth
Kindle–> http://amzn.to/YTApMf
iBooks–> http://bit.ly/1rwjNGk
Lulu–> http://bit.ly/1BzF42I

2014-10-01 08.54.59

Blog Tour Release Blitz

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Finley and Brody live in their own little bubble of “us.” Instead of, “I love you,” they say, “I love us.” It’s their own perfect endearment to each other. Finley’s quirky ways are the perfect contrast to Brody’s scandalously sexy passion.
But Finley’s picture-perfect world gets pummeled when she gets a hard dose of reality from her doctor that changes everything.
Crippled with the fear of Brody’s reaction, Finley does what she does best—she runs. She breaks his heart and leaves behind a life that is just too painful to live.
One international flight later, Finley’s best friend welcomes her with open arms in London and she is immersed in a new country with new experiences and eccentric roommates.
Nursing a broken heart, Finley grieves for the life she left behind and attempts to embrace the new one she is creating. When a cheeky Brit named Liam, a self proclaimed “fixer” catches her eye, she hopes it’s exactly what she needs to forget. But when Liam wants to help Finley unpack her bags for good, she realizes that her heart is still back home…with Brody.

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CHAPTER 21:

I shake my head and move past him to head downstairs. He grabs my hand and pulls me backwards into his chest.

“Hey,” he breathes into my ear. “I haven’t even had a chance to say hello to you yet.”

“Hello,” I reply lightly, enjoying the feel of his warm breath on my neck. He smells awesome, like a fresh laundry detergent.

I feel his lips gently kissing my shoulder and moving their way up my neck.

“Liam,” I shake my head back and forth, feeling a shiver prickle all over my skin.

“Finley,” he growls into my neck and nips at my ear.

Goosebumps crawl straight out from the spot he nips me and I break away from his grasp.

“Friends, remember?” I say, holding my hands up defensively toward him.

He scrunches his lips to the side, “I don’t like the sound of that.”

“I know, I’m sorry, but it is what it is. Let’s go downstairs. It’s family flick night for goodness’ sake.”

I start to make my way down the steps and Liam rushes up behind me, throwing his arm around my shoulders playfully. He growls in my ear, nipping at it again. I giggle into his touch and my heart hits the floor as my eyes glance down to the foyer.

Dead in my tracks, I stop. Everything around me blurs as Liam continues his descent and looks up at me, grabbing my hand. When he takes in the frozen expression on my face, I hear him say my name, barely. I can barely hear him because blood is rushing in my head. I can feel my heart beat pulsing in my eyes as I begin to feel faint.

Brody is standing in the foyer with a small suitcase in hand. Brody. In. London. Liam drops my hand and turns to look at what I’m looking at. I hear Leslie and Theo come down the steps behind me. They stop beside me when they see me frozen in place. Leslie gasps as she sees Brody.

 

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Amazon & Kindle: Now Available

Lulu: Now Available

iBooks, B&N & Kobo: Coming Soon

 

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Amy Daws Author Pic-low res

Amy Daws is a local TV commercial producer and lives in South Dakota with her husband, Kevin, and their miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s passion for writing. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle. For more of Amy’s work, visit: www.amydawsauthor.com

 

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Welcome all. Today I’m very lucky to be interviewing, Amy Daws, author of contemporary romance novel, A Broken Us.

Hi Amy, thank you for agreeing to this interview. Tell us a little about yourself and your background?
I’m currently a TV commercial producer for a local network affiliate station in South Dakota. So I write, shoot, and edit cheesy commercials for a living. Electronic Media and Journalism is what I went to school for, so I’m grateful to have a job in my industry, but writing is definitely a huge passion of mine.

A Broken Us is your first novel, correct?
Yes it is! I can’t tell you how much fun I had writing it. It’s my first novel, but not my first book. My first book was a memoir entitled, Chasing Hope, and that was released Memorial Day of 2014. It was my true story of my journey through multiple miscarriages and eventually the miraculous birth of my daughter Lorelei. I’m so thankful I wrote that book because it ignited this huge passion I have for writing and I have tons more books to get out there!

Where did your inspiration for, A Broken Us, come from?
I’ve read hundreds and hundreds of contemporary romance novels and I’ve never really read a book that had an infertility storyline in it. Since I’m so experienced in that area, due to my history, I thought it could make a really interesting storyline for a heroine of a romance novel to be struggling with something like this. I saw this as a way for me to interest my Chasing Hope readers, but also open up my demographic to romance lovers like me.

Where do your ideas come from?
From all over! I stole my daughters Hello Kitty notebook one day because I realized that if I didn’t start writing these ideas that popped into my head then I would forget them and lose them forever. So now I have that notebook with me everywhere. I steal a lot from my personal life but twist it and morph it until it’s barely recognizable. My life is so not as cool and romantic as the stuff I write in, A Broken Us, but that’s the beauty of writing fiction, you get to take more chances.

How long on average does it take you to write a book?
I probably wrote Chasing Hope in 3-4 months. But I took a lot of breaks and didn’t spend nearly as much time on it. It was emotional and painful, so I had to step away from it at times. A Broken Us consumed me until I finished. I wrote it in two weeks. But that was tough because I have a full time job and a husband and daughter, so I literally wrote from 9 at night til 2 in the morning when everyone was in bed. There was a lot of coffee consumed during those couple weeks.

What are your ambitions for your writing career?
Publish more of course! Chasing Hope will have a sequel to it called, Chasing Peace that will sort of wrap up my true story and give a bit more closure on all of that. So I’m currently working on Chasing Peace. But I love love love reading contemporary romance. And now I love love love writing contemporary romance! A Broken Us has definite spin off potential and I’m working some of those ideas out now as well. So, overall, I imagine contemporary romance is where my writing career will be heading.

Tell us about the cover and how it came about?
The girl on the cover is a girl from my hometown who I actually took senior pictures for when she graduated high school a while back. I do a little photography on the side, so when I was trying to find a model to be my Finley…she immediately popped into my head. My sister-in-law, Megan Daws, and myself shot the cover photo. We both had our own cameras armed and clicking at our shoot. I don’t actually know who’s picture ended up on the cover…and I don’t care. We’re a great team and I love working with her. A bunch of the photos from our shoot were used in the book video trailer, so it’s definitely a collaborative effort. I did all the cover design myself. I work in advertising and am very familiar with graphic design. I’m in love with my cover…it’s just beautiful!

What do you think most characterizes your writing?
Candid, honest and self-deprecating. And I love to write humor. I am a total goof in real life and I love to laugh, so I do my best to portray interesting characters that have funny moments. If you LOL while reading my books…I’ve succeeded.

Which writers inspire you?
Well I have to first give a shout out to my all time favorite British Chick Lit author, Elizabeth Young. Her book, Asking For Trouble was one of the first chick lit books I read and I haven’t been able to stop reading since! She has a hilarious self-deprecating humor to her heroines that resonates so strongly with me. Also, Jennifer Lancaster, who made memoirs about non-famous people cool! She’s got a great voice on paper. Then of course there’s Samantha Young…love her On Dublin Street series, then Colleen Hoover, Jamie McGuire, Abbi Glines. Okay, I have so many more but I’ll leave it at them. J

What’s next for you?
My memoir sequel, Chasing Peace, is going to be published in early 2015. And then I’m working on a spin off book to, A Broken Us, that I would love to release in the summer of 2015 if possible. Then there’s many more spin off potentials for, A Broken Us that I’m super excited to get started on after that!

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