Game Face in the World of Miscarriage

Typically my newsletters reside around book news…but today’s is a bit more personal.

Today my best friend in the whole world celebrates her 5-Year wedding anniversary. While she looks back and remembers all the beautiful friends and family gathered around her, laughing, drinking, celebrating…
collage picsI remember standing in the stall of a hotel bathroom, wadding up my chiffon bridesmaid dress and injecting a 1 1/2 inch needle into my butt.im progesteroneThe needle is thick too. It has to be because I was injecting progesterone in oil, a hormone that is often prescribed for women suffering from recurrent pregnancy loss.
hqdefaultI nicked a vein, as you sometimes can, and when I pulled the needle out, a fountain of blood squirted out in it’s wake. Being prepared for this exact moment, I had a wad of toilet paper tucked into the waistband of my Spanx and was able to put pressure on the bleed right away.

I slapped on a bandaid, yanked up my spanx…and went back out into the party.

Game. Face. On.

game face

A Game Face is a vital necessity when you’re living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility. You see, three days prior to this…I was living in hell.

My husband, Kevin and I had just found out we were pregnant…with twins. Exciting times for most, but scary as hell for us. This was pregnancy number three for us. I had suffered two miscarriages prior to this day. Miscarriage one at 12 weeks, miscarriage 2 at 12 weeks 2 day. Miscarriage two began on the due date of Pregnancy 1.

Life was funny like that.1018100741

At barely six weeks pregnant, I was cramping so badly I swore I had internal bleeding. Several ultrasounds and an ER visit later, my doctor informed me that he wasn’t sure what was going on but that we should NOT attend this wedding five hours away in Kansas City.

“But it’s my best friend! I’m the maid of honor!” I cried to him, sitting inside a dingy ER exam room. I was literally bleeding all over myself at the time because for whatever reason, ER’s don’t ever want you wearing clothes beneath your hospital gowns.

He gave me those sad, sympathetic doctor eyes but remained firm on his position.

Kevin and I got in the car and before the door was shut I was yelling, “There is no way in hell I’m missing DJ’s wedding, Kevin. No way!” DJ has been my best friend since we were babies. I convinced her to stick a popcorn seed up her nose in Kindergarden and we’ve been thick as thieves ever since. Thankfully, Kevin completely understood. He’s is good like that.

So my doctor wrote me a prescription for pregnancy safe pain medicine, handed us my HUGE medical record, and wrote down a list of all the nearest hospitals in KC. We were preparing for the worst to happen while we were there.hands

I would likely miscarry.

Most people probably look at me and think…are you crazy? Stay home! Lay down! Keep your babies safe! But when you’re living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss…life doesn’t stop. If I would have skipped out on every special event or evening out because I “might miscarry” or I “might be pregnant” … I would have been even more miserable than I already was.

And guys…I was pretty freaking miserable. It took us three years to get pregnant the first time and then I got the double whammy of being diagnosed a “habitual aborter”…at least, that’s what my medical records call recurrent miscarriage.

This is where the game face comes in.

63803_661770594643_4877334_n

It’s party time, remember? My best friend is marrying the love of her life! So we dance, and we laugh, and we fake drink the night away…because the last thing I want to do is tell everyone I’m pregnant with twins but probably going to lose them before I get home. That’s the life of a Habitual Aborter. You mask the bad with the good. You perfect your Game Face. Because there’s no handicaps in the world of infertility and miscarriage. Every stroke is yours. Every bogey is recorded. And there’s no best ball.

Thankfully, I made it through the wedding, but I later lost both those beautiful babies. It wasn’t in Kansas City though. Baby A passed away around 9 weeks and Baby B literally fell into my hands over a toilet bowl in labor and delivery at 14 weeks pregnant.

But here’s the funny thing…the real kicker…  

Today, when my bestie posts a beautiful blog spread, celebrating her amazing day…it doesn’t make me sad at all. It doesn’t make me mourn the loss of those babies. It makes me feel closer to those precious lives I lost. It makes me feel like I shared one of the most beautiful memories with them. They were with me…inside of me…when I watched my best friend walk down the isle.

They were with me then…

They are with me now…

And they certainly….are with this little miracle that I ate fruit loops with in bed this morning.

12011163_10101185178804353_3161208671072492763_n

My point is…regardless of the bad…regardless of the sad…regardless of the horrid memories we all walk around with…it’s all shaping us into who we are. You just have to put on your game face, and get back in there. Because shooting for that big WIN is what makes memories worth keeping.


 10689481_1510303915911294_5779867820127012396_nAmy Daws lives in South Dakota with her husband, and miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, a memoir called Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy is a lover of all things British and her award-nominated romantic comedy series, The London Lovers Series, is centered around Americans in London. It’s emotional and self-deprecating with lots of humor sprinkled in.
On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

For more of Amy’s work, visit: http://www.amydawsauthor.com

So much is happening!

I’m having trouble knowing where to begin this blog post because I’m overwhelmed with amazing things happening!

First of all…did you see my USA Today Feature on why I set my romance series in London?
It was AMAZING! So exciting to see my name next to ANYTHING USA Today related!
Weekend Hot Reads copyClick here to read the full article! 
usatoday

Also, I’m working on a special project that has nothing to do with my London Lovers or my memoir series.
I can’t release details yet, but it will be coming soon!

url

Then…oh then…today of all days…a really incredibly special book anniversary snuck up on me.
My baby. My pride. My joy.

Chasing Hope

Quotes-Laughable
Never in a million years did I think I’d be anywhere that I am sitting today.
Writing a blog on my very own author website?
Are you serious?
I always wanted to be a sitcom writer as a child. I thought that sounded so cool. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to write a whole book! It seemed like too many pages…too many words…too overwhelming.
Then these tragedies started happening to me.
Life-changing sadness enveloped me and my husband and I was hurting. I was hurting for everything I’d lost and I was hurting for the hope that was fleeing from me every single day.
I had to do something.
So I wrote.

At first it was just the days of the “sad tragedies.”
So I would never forget….
Then it turned into more.
Then I started asking questions about publishing.
Then I found an editor.
Then I picked a day to release.
Then I introduced my angel babies to the world.
So they could be remembered always…not only in my heart…but on paper.
1 Year Anniversary graphic

Happy 1-Year Anniversary Chasing Hope.
You started something for me.
Something I never thought I could do.
I’ve just released my fourth book now and I found so much more than HOPE when I published you.

I found my dream and I found my happy ending,
both in family and in my career.
I call that…a really good freaking year.
2x6-BookMarks-Back-Final

Chasing Hope Order Links: 

Amazon:
US: http://amzn.to/1LDYBoS
UK: http://amzn.to/1LDYIRh
AU: http://bit.ly/1Q8N95K
CA: http://amzn.to/1RloRbk
iBooks:
http://bit.ly/iBooks-CH-US
http://bit.ly/iBooks-CH-UK
http://bit.ly/iBooks-CH-AU
http://bit.ly/iBooks-CH-CA
B&N:
http://bit.ly/1rwc1aM
Kobo:
http://bit.ly/1PL4gQe

London Lovers Order Links: 

#1 Becoming Us – $0.99 LIMITED TIME!!
Amazon:
US: http://bit.ly/BecomingUs
AU: http://bit.ly/1GTOYhX
UK: http://amzn.to/1wUXIQG
CA: http://bit.ly/BecomingUsCA

iBooks:
http://bit.ly/iBooks-BU-US
http://bit.ly/iBooks-BU-UK
http://bit.ly/iBooks-BU-AU
http://bit.ly/iBooks-BU-CA
B&N:
http://bit.ly/14XYNQY
Kobo:
http://bit.ly/KoboBecomingUs

#2 A Broken Us
Amazon:
US: http://amzn.to/XFDHCz
AU: http://bit.ly/1IW683e
UK: http://bit.ly/AmazonABU-UK
CA: http://bit.ly/Amazon-ABU-CA

iBooks:
http://bit.ly/iBooks-ABU-US
http://bit.ly/iBooks-ABU-UK
http://bit.ly/iBooks-ABU-AU
http://bit.ly/iBooks-ABU-CA
B&N:
http://bit.ly/ZoX8RC
Kobo:
http://bit.ly/1vsI6nM

#3 London Bound – $2.99 LIMITED TIME!
Amazon:
US✦ http://amzn.to/1JbywyB
AU✦ http://bit.ly/1FjpbVI
UK✦ http://amzn.to/1IA2POX
CA✦ http://amzn.to/1JbymY6

iBooks:
US✦ http://bit.ly/iBooks-LB-US
AU✦ http://bit.ly/iBooks-LB-AU
UK✦ http://bit.ly/iBooks-LB-UK
CA✦ http://bit.ly/iBooks-LB-CA
Lulu✦ http://bit.ly/1F4QdNq

Happy 1-Month Birthday Becoming Us!

My book baby is 1 month old! 

I’d like to give a HUGE thanks to everyone for supporting the London Lovers Series and making this release my best yet!
The love story of Brody and Finley is something that readers have latched on to and I have fully enjoyed all the beautiful reviews online!

Facebook Ad3-work

Because of reader reaction, I am now turning my Prequel, Becoming Us, into Book #1 of the London Lovers Series. You can still read both books as stand alones, but the majority of readers seem to feel that it’s an over-all better reading experience to start with Becoming Us and then move on to A Broken Us. If you’ve already read A Broken Us, don’t fret! Becoming Us is still a whirlwind of a read that takes you back to college and tells the whole dramatic backstory of “the one that got away” for Finley.

If you haven’t jumped into the London Lovers Series,
now is the time.
The $2.99 sale price will be changing!

Series-2.99-GFX

purchase
     3D-Book-Becoming Us  amazon   ibooks   bandn icon hi-512-8

3D-Book-ABU-Updatedamazon   ibooks   bandn icon hi-512-8

 

3D-Book-London Bount-no cover

 

Book 3 of the London Lovers Series, London Bound will be releasing this Spring. I’m not announcing a specific date yet because as soon as it’s ready, I’ll release it. It follows Finley best friend, Leslie, and her tumultuous start with Theo! There’s going to be lots of Frank and lots of FUN! I can’t wait to blast this to the world!

Cover reveal will be in March!

 

Chasing Peace 3D Book
I receive many requests for updates on Chasing Peace and I just want to say that it’s partially written, however, since it’s memoir, sometimes life has to happen before I can decide how this story will progress. Chasing Hope had just a clear and distinct ending. The ending for Chasing Peace is less clear. Rest assured, I will finish it as soon as I can though! And thank you all for the interest, it means the world to me that you care!

 

Thanks again for all of you who have read and reviewed! It means a lot that you’re taking this journey with me and I couldn’t be happier doing what I’m doing! 

author bio

10689481_1510303915911294_5779867820127012396_nAmy lives in South Dakota with her husband, Kevin, and their miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy’s contemporary romance books are a part of the The London Lover Series and currently have two installments out with Book 3, Leslie’s story to release this Spring.
Amy’s inspiration for writing is and always will be her six precious angel babies and her daughter. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

social links
FacebookTwitter InstagramPinteresttsu

Newsletter-work
LLSeries-small

Release Week Blitz and Giveaway

London Lover Series

3D-Book-ABU-Updated
Author, Amy Daws
released A Broken Us
last September,
but now she’s
re-wound the
clock to go back in time
to where it all began…

 

3D-Book-Becoming Us

THE PREQUEL TO A BROKEN US:
College love never hurt so good.

Press Play to View this Exclusive Author Rap 
Disclaimer: you should probably prepare yourselves for something extraordinary

rap video still
synopsis

The dreaded friend-zone…
The last place I ever want to be with college basketball God, Jake LaShae.
I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous
and confident man wants from me.
I need to break through his walls.
What is it about me that makes him not go there? What am I lacking?
When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me,
and I think I can’t feel any lower…Brody stumbles into my path—barefoot no less,
and sexy as hell. His direct and mouth-watering swagger is a breath of fresh air.
The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
But Brody has a past.
A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us
become us in whatever capacity that may be.
Just when Brody and I truly connect,
just when I think that finding my soul-mate in college isn’t a total joke,
Jake comes back into my life…and messes things up…possibly for good.

teaser
Sexy young couple kissing and playing in bed.

trailer

trailer still

excerpt

Brody pulls me into his room, shuts the door, and presses me up against the back of it. His lips connect with mine and he strokes his thumb tenderly along my jaw. I groan into his mouth at the forceful entry of his tongue. Brody doesn’t kiss like a college boy, he kisses like a man.

“I thought about you all night,” he moans against my lips, and comes back in, pulling my lower lip into his mouth and gently scraping his teeth along it as he releases it.

I instantly pull it into my mouth, sucking off the remnants of the searing kiss he just laid on me. “Damn,” I whisper.

“Damn what?” he whispers back.

“Damn, this is going to be so hard.” I scrape my hands through the sides of his hair and kiss him passionately, taking control and showing him that while I love the power of his kiss—I can match it. He presses his hips against me in response and I let my hands fall down to my sides, feeling at a loss with the epic arousal approaching.

He strokes his hands softly down my arms, then grabs my wrists and pushes them up above my shoulders, pinning them to the door. Holy Jesus, this is too much.

Purchase
amazonnow available    ibooksnow available    bandn iconcoming soon

*If you’re new to Amy Daws…we recommend reading this new release, Becoming Us, first and, A Broken Us, second! Though they can be read in any order. 🙂 

Author Interview
Hi Amy, thank you for agreeing to this interview. Tell us a little about yourself and your background?
I’m currently a TV commercial producer for a local network affiliate station in South Dakota. So I still have a day job…booo! But it’s not so bad. I write, shoot, and edit commercials for a living. So it’s creative and laid back. And really fun. I love it. But writing is definitely a huge passion of mine.

What started your writing?
Well, I went through many years of personal tragedies and sadness. I suffered from multiple miscarriages. In the course of about three years, I lost five babies. It was terrible. But magically, I got my happy ending. My daughter is two and feisty and cool and just badass. I love her like crazy. Anyways, after getting her, I realized how fortunate I was and what an incredible journey I went through. I call it tragically beautiful. I didn’t want to forget that journey and I wanted to be able to tell my daughter about it someday, so birthed my memoir, Chasing Hope.

Is Chasing Hope available for purchase?
Yes it is. I released it in May of 2014. It was my very first book and a huge learning experience for me in the book industry. It’s a true story obviously. It’s emotional and inspirational and will definitely make you go and hug your babies. I wrote it in a way where you read it like a novel, not necessarily a chronological autobiography. So I feel like I did something interesting there. I’m incredibly proud of it. The feedback has been amazing.

How did you branch out into fiction?
I’m a serial contemporary romance reader and really wanted to try my hand at a totally made up story. I wanted more creative freedom. With the memoir, I was limited. So birthed…A Broken Us, an adult contemporary romance. I released it in September of 2014.

What inspired you to write Becoming Us?
Well, Becoming Us, is the prequel to my, A Broken Us. A Broken Us starts off with a breakup…the title sort of gives it away, so I don’t think I’m revealing too much there. Anyways, I decided to write a prequel to that story because I was curious about Brody and Finley’s backstory. I had an idea in my head when I was writing A Broken Us…but I hadn’t totally flushed it out. The more I sat on it, the more curious I became! So…I thought…hey, I’ll write a prequel! If Star Wars can do it, why can’t I? J

What should the reading order be?
You can read Becoming Us and A Broken Us in any order, but I think now that both of the books are out, I’m going to suggest people start with the prequel. It gets you attached to Brody and Finley a bit more and it’ll make A Broken Us all the more powerful when you get to it!

Are these books a part of a series?
Yes! Becoming Us and A Broken Us are the beginnings of my London Lover Series. In both books, I created some amazing secondary characters that are demanding their stories to be finished/told. The secondary characters were easily fan favorites, so I’m excited to see how people respond when I give them full-length novels of their very own!

What’s going to be the third book in the London Lover series?
Leslie! Oh my goodness. Finley’s best friend, Leslie is SO LOUD in my head! She will not stop. I’ve been trying really hard to just focus on marketing Becoming Us and getting that out, but ideas for Leslie’s character keep screaming at me! I’ve had to cut numerous showers short because of Leslie. Don’t ask me why I get ideas in the shower because I have no damn clue! 😛 Leslie’s book is going to be called London Bound and it’s going to be very dramatic and even a little dark, which should be interesting because Leslie is such a silly, funny character. So there’s going to be a big juxtaposition worked in there that should be interesting. And Frank…I have to give Frank his HEA…and since he is Leslie’s gusband…he will definitely get some time to shine in London Bound. I can’t wait to really dive into all of that.

Author Bio

10689481_1510303915911294_5779867820127012396_nAmy lives in South Dakota with her husband, Kevin, and their miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy’s contemporary romance books are a part of the The London Lover Series and currently have two installments out with more to come. Amy’s inspiration for writing is and always will be her six precious angel babies and her daughter. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

Social Links
FacebookTwitter InstagramPinteresttsu

Newsletter-work

giveaway

1 Grand Prize Winner will receive signed paperbacks of
Becoming Us & A Broken Us + a Swag Pack
1 Winner will receive a $10 Amazon Giftcard
(click below to register)
a Rafflecopter giveaway

2014 Blur

Looking back on 2014, I’m shocked and awed at all that I have accomplished.
Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00063]Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000040_00005]Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000040_00006]

Before you think this is going to be a brag session…please hear me out.

537338_10100516221699753_679317202_n

2013 ended on a very sad note for my family when I lost my sixth baby.
Nevaeh Peace was a true gift and I cherished being able to carry her inside me for those 18 weeks.
Holding her tiny body on my chest is a sensation that I will never forget and I still get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

 

Prior to losing Nevaeh, I had started taking some notes about my losses. Writing had always felt therapeutic to me and getting out all my sad stories while sobbing over top of a keyboard is what helped me process. However, when I lost Nevaeh, I wanted to do more than “process.”

I wanted to memorialize.

Quotes-LaughableSo, Nevaeh inspired me to make 2014 MY year. She inspired me to turn a negative into a positive. A sadness into a happiness. And a depressing story…into one of HOPE. So birthed, Chasing Hope, and the beginning of a crazy, beautiful, and challenging journey of becoming an author.

 

1896773_10100667635674933_8301579413751859825_n

 

 

 

Seeing my family’s story of heartbreak in a bound book was an incredible sense of achievement. And receiving emails, facebook messages, and letters from people who my story personally affected, was more than I ever hoped for.

So doing what I do best…I pushed for more. When I’m passionate about something, it consumes me until I finish. I’ve always been this way. Whether it’s reading all the Twilight books in one week, pouring over discussion forums on how to train our new puppy, or even researching recurrent pregnancy loss specialists and textbooks. I go all in.

10683656_1473087866299566_3017280866225376212_o10686861_1521713831436969_3940289343350840880_n

So birthed…
The London Lover Series.
I’ve always loved reading contemporary romance.
So when I had an idea that I thought sounded interesting, I decided to go for it.
I wrote A Broken Us in two weeks and now have another book in the series, Becoming Us, releasing January 13th.


10339330_319347571560072_3760225789755140282_oBecoming an author and publishing nearly three books in 2014 is a complete surprise. But I’ve been welcomed into the writing community with open arms. Am I successful at it? HECK NO! Does it make me want to quit? Not a chance. And the reason for that is because I have this rockin’ family at home rooting me on. I know that I would not be able to write down one single word if it wasn’t for the incredible support of my family. My husband picks up the slack, listens to my rants, does my accounting, and tolerates this crazy writing obsession of mine. He’s the shiz. And my curly-haired, two-year-old, miracle baby is all the inspiration I need to keep chasing my dreams and never giving up.

Hey, it’s that very attitude that got me her.

10313903_10100731208594293_7272123041062342105_o

PRE-ORDER SALES BLITZ

Sale Banner-work
Grab this LIMITED TIME 99 PENNY Pre-Order sale price for the upcoming novel by Amy Daws!
Becoming Us is the pre-quel to A Broken Us.
Both are part of The London Lover Series
and can be read in any order.
The Becoming Us Pre-Order Sale Price ends
New Year’s Day, so grab it while you can!
3D-Book-Becoming Us


Enjoy this amazing FAN-MADE Trailer!


***Click Here to Pre-Order for only 99 PENNIES***

portrait of a woman en hoodie, sweatshirt
Brody-Enough-Jan 1 99 cents
SYNOPSIS: 

The dreaded friend-zone…
The last place I ever want to be with college basketball God, Jake LaShae.
I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous and confident man wants from me.
I need to break through his walls. What is it about me that makes him not go there?
What am I lacking?
When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me, and I think I can’t feel any lower…Brody stumbles into my path—barefoot no less, and sexy as hell.
His direct and mouth-watering swagger is a breath of fresh air.
The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
But Brody has a past.
A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us become us in whatever capacity that may be.
Just when Brody and I truly connect, just when I think that finding my soul-mate in college isn’t a total joke, Jake comes back into my life…and messes things up…possibly for good.

Click Here to Pre-Order for only 99 PENNIES



10689481_1510303915911294_5779867820127012396_n
Amy Daws lives in South Dakota with her husband, Kevin, and their miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, Chasing Hope and her passion for writing. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

For more about Amy:
Website: http://www.amydawsauthor.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/amydawsauthor
Twitter: https://twitter.com/amydawsauthor
Instagraham: http://www.enjoygram.com/amy_daws_author
Tsu: https://www.tsu.co/AmyDaws
Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/amydawsauthor/
Amazon Author Page: http://www.amazon.com/Amy-Daws/e/B00KGCDCXY
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8193655.Amy_Daws
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=110940442&trk=nav_responsive_tab_profile

This sale is only valid until January 1st, so one-click this special price right now!

Where It All Began

I have a lot of new followers on my site these days, so I thought it was time I did a post about how I became a writer started writing. <—-I still cringe at calling myself an author or a writer because it still doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t seem believeable. But I have two published books out there, and three more on the way, so I best get over myself!

Here’s the deal. I lived in darkness with my husband for five long years.
Birthday-post

For five long, sad, and somewhat miserable years, we went through a struggle together that no one truly knew the depths of. That bothered me. NO ONE KNEW! It felt like people didn’t really know the real me! Some are the suffer in silence types. Not me. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a loud-mouth, obnoxious, extroverted goof. Middle Child Syndrome through and through.

So, I wanted to change that. I started writing my experience. I thought at first, it would just be something nice to have on a shelf to always remember. Because even though it was sad and tragic, I didn’t want to forget. Then I thought…maybe I’ll let my mom read it. And then it was like, ‘Oh my Gosh, this story is so much more than just my experience. I have to put it out there!’

So, Chasing Hope snow-balled and I cannot begin to tell you what an incredible experience it has been sharing it. Chasing Hope is my family’s true story. If you want to laugh, cry, scream, giggle…you may want to pick it up and read it. I’m incredibly proud of it and it offers a glimpse into a world not many people know about. It will make you want to hug your babies, hug your family members, or just appreciate life more. It’s one of those books that you read and just feel better about life when you’ve finished.

amazonbandn iconibooks

And if memoirs aren’t your thing…Chasing Hope inspired me to branch out into adult contemporary romance. Writing fiction was a ton of fun for me. A Broken Us was an idea that was inspired by a very small part of Chasing Hope. Sort of a “what if” scenario that popped into my head. I’m incredibly proud of it and the reviews it has received! The next book of this series, Becoming Us, releases in January. 
Graphic Post--
amazonbandn iconibooks

Thanks for taking the time to read this post! It’s been a whirlwind of a year, diving into the world of indie publishing. But I’ve met so many incredible people along the way.
And if you don’t follow me on social media…you should totes start. I speak way more candidly over there! 😉
FacebookTwitter Instagram Pinterest

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nevaeh Peace

In honor of the 1-Year Angelversary of my sixth pregnancy loss, I’d like to share an excerpt from Chasing Peace. Chasing Peace is the sequel to Chasing Hope and tells the story of my beautiful angel, Neveah Peace. She was my most painful loss to date. This is a hard day today and it sometimes feels like it only happened yesterday. I miss you sweet baby, I can still feel you resting quietly on my heart.

Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000032_00025]

Chasing Peace:
As the medical team pushed the bed and me down the hall, I felt so very alone and so very sad. Kevin was instructed to wait in Labor and Delivery Triage. I can’t imagine the sight of watching your significant other get wheeled away to emergency surgery while you have to stay back, helpless and alone.
I was crying softly when one of the nurses reached under the blanket and grabbed my hand. She rubbed it soothingly as we passed through the maize of hallways and hospital corridors. It felt like we were moving at warp speed, but her strokes were soft and sincere. I remember her telling me over and over that it was going to be all right. She only stopped stroking my hand when we reached the O.R. and they needed to transfer me to the operating table.
Staring up at the ceiling, the medical team all busied themselves prepping me for surgery. Even with a huge team of people around me, it still felt like it was just me and my little baby in the room. I took a moment and rubbed my small belly. I whispered softly, “Good-bye my little fighter. I’m so so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could have kept you, but I can’t.” I sobbed loudly knowing my baby was alive inside me but they had to take her out anyways. Tears streamed down my temples and into my hairline.
The anesthesiologist came over with a washcloth and wiped away the moisture on my face. He didn’t say anything encouraging. He didn’t tell me I was going to be alright. He just wiped my tears. That silence screamed volumes. He knew. He knew what a horrible and rotten situation this was and since words failed him, he offered a simple touch instead. Eventually he put a mask over my face and told me to take ten deep breaths. Before I passed out, the last thing I remember was my own hand continually rubbing my small belly.
~Chasing Peace, A Memoir by Amy Daws
http://bit.ly/1GLMvt4

537338_10100516221699753_679317202_n

The mold of our sweet
Nevaeh Peace. 903228_10100539417340503_477447998_o

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our very special Dragon Fly Christmas tree. An ornament for each sweet angel. 983720_10100730997182963_5730351640912031139_n

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

QUEEN CITY WHAAAA?

2014-10-22 09.16.39Holy Cincinnati Batman! In less than 24 hours, I’ll be on my way to Ohio for the Queen City Indie Con! Samantha Young and Abbi Glines are keynote speakers and I can’t tell you what it will be like for me to meet these amazing ladies. I was trying to explain to the ‘ol ball and chain what a big deal this was and I had to use sports references to get him to fully comprehend. Men.

My sister and sister-in-law are coming along. I’ve dubbed my sister as my official assistant and my sister-in-law as my official hair stylist. 🙂 Hopefully nobody finds out we’re related and they are totally unpaid or that will really ruin my cool factor.

And, as if I didn’t have enough to get ready for this conference, I’ve decided to do a cover reveal of my new upcoming romance novel, Becoming Us. I’ll have a print out of the amazing cover to show off at the conference on Saturday and lots of awesome-sauce bloggers on board to post about it! Should be frackin fresh! I’m really excited for this new project…says every author always. But I really mean it!

Anyways, without further ado, here’s the banner of the final signing authors. My name looks awesome sandwiched between two legit Amy Authors. Maybe they’ll mistake me for one of them and I’ll sell a few books that way!

And oh yeah, I’ve requested a unicorn upon my arrival, so we’ll see how that goes. I’ll keep you posted.

10644617_1564945037068517_8171977731570258164_n

 

You Are Enough

enough
Today is National Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. Just saying those words is depressing isn’t it? The fact that pregnancy loss happens to so many people that we need to designate a day to raise awareness just sucks. It sucks bad. But there it is….so now what? We’re talking about it, posting about it, tweeting about it. But what’s it really doing? Who’s it really helping?

When I started writing Chasing Hope, I wanted to write it just to get the nightmares out of my head. And to show to my family the true  trauma Kevin and I went through. No one knew and it was killing me that I had endured these ugly, life altering events and no one had any inkling the scary situations we were put in.

But something happened during my writing process. Something amazing. Hope found a way of sneaking in. HOPE of all things! After five losses in a row…five gory, ugly, bloody losses….how they heck could HOPE get in there? But it did. I laugh because the working titles of my book were nowhere near “Chasing Hope.” But it was like my story wanted to name itself by the time it was all over.

Maybe it’s because I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a daughter. After all our pain and anguish, I was granted a sassy, spirited little toddler with curly hair, big eyes and has miracle baby plastered all over her precious chubby face. Getting her granted me perspective. Getting her made me proud of my HOPE and not embarrassed by it.

But I know there are so so many couples out there right now that are grieving their losses without a little miracle to comfort them. And my heart breaks for them because we had those tragic, dark days too. Those days where I would hole up in our home office with the lights off and just cry and cry and cry and pray that hubby wouldn’t come in because I was just so so tired of sympathy.

So, try this thought on for size…

I am not going to give those couples sympathy today. I’m not going to give them awareness. I’m not even going to give them HOPE.

I’m going to give them a glimmer of the BIG PICTURE. The BIG PICTURE…is that someday, it will all make sense. I PROMISE you. Someday you WILL find your purpose, you will find your PEACE. You will find your own ENDING. It may not end with a child, as hard of a pill that is to swallow, it’s a distinct possibility. But you have to find a way to make yourself okay. You have to find a way to make yourself be ENOUGH. Because you are ENOUGH.

Grieve your losses today. Light your candles. Hug your spouses. But look into each other’s eyes and say, even without all of this…YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

parking lot excerpt