Game Face in the World of Miscarriage

October 2, 2015October 2, 2015Amy Daws 3 Comments

Typically my newsletters reside around book news…but today’s is a bit more personal.

Today my best friend in the whole world celebrates her 5-Year wedding anniversary. While she looks back and remembers all the beautiful friends and family gathered around her, laughing, drinking, celebrating…
I remember standing in the stall of a hotel bathroom, wadding up my chiffon bridesmaid dress and injecting a 1 1/2 inch needle into my butt.The needle is thick too. It has to be because I was injecting progesterone in oil, a hormone that is often prescribed for women suffering from recurrent pregnancy loss.
I nicked a vein, as you sometimes can, and when I pulled the needle out, a fountain of blood squirted out in it’s wake. Being prepared for this exact moment, I had a wad of toilet paper tucked into the waistband of my Spanx and was able to put pressure on the bleed right away.

I slapped on a bandaid, yanked up my spanx…and went back out into the party.

Game. Face. On.

A Game Face is a vital necessity when you’re living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility. You see, three days prior to this…I was living in hell.

My husband, Kevin and I had just found out we were pregnant…with twins. Exciting times for most, but scary as hell for us. This was pregnancy number three for us. I had suffered two miscarriages prior to this day. Miscarriage one at 12 weeks, miscarriage 2 at 12 weeks 2 day. Miscarriage two began on the due date of Pregnancy 1.

Life was funny like that.

At barely six weeks pregnant, I was cramping so badly I swore I had internal bleeding. Several ultrasounds and an ER visit later, my doctor informed me that he wasn’t sure what was going on but that we should NOT attend this wedding five hours away in Kansas City.

“But it’s my best friend! I’m the maid of honor!” I cried to him, sitting inside a dingy ER exam room. I was literally bleeding all over myself at the time because for whatever reason, ER’s don’t ever want you wearing clothes beneath your hospital gowns.

He gave me those sad, sympathetic doctor eyes but remained firm on his position.

Kevin and I got in the car and before the door was shut I was yelling, “There is no way in hell I’m missing DJ’s wedding, Kevin. No way!” DJ has been my best friend since we were babies. I convinced her to stick a popcorn seed up her nose in Kindergarden and we’ve been thick as thieves ever since. Thankfully, Kevin completely understood. He’s is good like that.

So my doctor wrote me a prescription for pregnancy safe pain medicine, handed us my HUGE medical record, and wrote down a list of all the nearest hospitals in KC. We were preparing for the worst to happen while we were there.

I would likely miscarry.

Most people probably look at me and think…are you crazy? Stay home! Lay down! Keep your babies safe! But when you’re living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss…life doesn’t stop. If I would have skipped out on every special event or evening out because I “might miscarry” or I “might be pregnant” … I would have been even more miserable than I already was.

And guys…I was pretty freaking miserable. It took us three years to get pregnant the first time and then I got the double whammy of being diagnosed a “habitual aborter”…at least, that’s what my medical records call recurrent miscarriage.

This is where the game face comes in.

It’s party time, remember? My best friend is marrying the love of her life! So we dance, and we laugh, and we fake drink the night away…because the last thing I want to do is tell everyone I’m pregnant with twins but probably going to lose them before I get home. That’s the life of a Habitual Aborter. You mask the bad with the good. You perfect your Game Face. Because there’s no handicaps in the world of infertility and miscarriage. Every stroke is yours. Every bogey is recorded. And there’s no best ball.

Thankfully, I made it through the wedding, but I later lost both those beautiful babies. It wasn’t in Kansas City though. Baby A passed away around 9 weeks and Baby B literally fell into my hands over a toilet bowl in labor and delivery at 14 weeks pregnant.

But here’s the funny thing…the real kicker…

Today, when my bestie posts a beautiful blog spread, celebrating her amazing day…it doesn’t make me sad at all. It doesn’t make me mourn the loss of those babies. It makes me feel closer to those precious lives I lost. It makes me feel like I shared one of the most beautiful memories with them. They were with me…inside of me…when I watched my best friend walk down the isle.

They were with me then…

They are with me now…

And they certainly….are with this little miracle that I ate fruit loops with in bed this morning.

My point is…regardless of the bad…regardless of the sad…regardless of the horrid memories we all walk around with…it’s all shaping us into who we are. You just have to put on your game face, and get back in there. Because shooting for that big WIN is what makes memories worth keeping.

Amy Daws lives in South Dakota with her husband, and miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, a memoir called Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy is a lover of all things British and her award-nominated romantic comedy series, The London Lovers Series, is centered around Americans in London. It’s emotional and self-deprecating with lots of humor sprinkled in.
On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

For more of Amy’s work, visit: http://www.amydawsauthor.com

LONDON BOUND IS LIVE!

May 14, 2015May 13, 2015Amy Daws Leave a comment

LONDON BOUND is HOT OFF THE PRESSES!
Book 3 in the London Lovers Series is LIVE TODAY!

London Bound is a London Lovers Series Standalone,
so dive in and Fall in LOVE with the London Lovers!

Check out this SCORCHING-HOT FAN-MADE TRAILER of LONDON BOUND!

When Leslie Lincoln, a spunky, red-headed American, suffers an awkward moment with an arousingly-sexy British man—she thinks her life can’t get any more pathetic.

She’s done with men.
She doesn’t need them.
She especially doesn’t need their muscular thighs.
No siree, she’s going to forget all about the brooding, complicated, and seductive “Theo” who captivated her on the dance floor of a London nightclub.

Keep telling yourself that, Lez…..

Immersing herself into a new type of romantic cleanse, Leslie thinks she’ll never lay eyes on Theo again. But somehow, he’s managed to bulldoze his way back in—her cheetah-print onesie pajamas be damned.

He wants more.
She wants to run.
But he can’t seem to let her go.

Both of them have a past—and neither want to share.
How can love possibly survive in darkness?

Here’s all the current purchase links!
Links for B&N and Kobo will be coming soon!

US Australia UK Canada

London Bound is Coming!

May 4, 2015Amy Daws Leave a comment

The tummy troubles have begun.

My mother would yell at me for that comment and say that some things just don’t need to be said, but hey, it’s better than shouting from a mountaintop that I have diarrhea! 🙂

With London Bound being my 4th released book, I am now conceding to the fact that release dates NEVER get easier. I’m always a ball of nerves up until the very end–driving everyone in my family and network completely bonkers.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

With that said, I am so thankful to the cheerleaders I have in my corner rooting me on!

London Bound releases May 14th and is currently up for PRE-ORDER on iBooks!

US Australia UK Canada

If you haven’t checked out Books 1 & 2…now would be a GREAT time! London Bound can be read as a stand-alone, but reading books 1 & 2 add to the character connection!

Let the countdown begin!

Release Week Blitz and Giveaway

January 13, 2015January 12, 2015Amy Daws Leave a comment

Author, Amy Daws
released A Broken Us
last September,
but now she’s
re-wound the
clock to go back in time
to where it all began…

THE PREQUEL TO A BROKEN US:
College love never hurt so good.

Press Play to View this Exclusive Author Rap
Disclaimer: you should probably prepare yourselves for something extraordinary

The dreaded friend-zone…
The last place I ever want to be with college basketball God, Jake LaShae.
I am losing my mind trying to figure out what this gorgeous
and confident man wants from me.
I need to break through his walls.
What is it about me that makes him not go there? What am I lacking?
When a mind-blowing betrayal knocks the wind out of me,
and I think I can’t feel any lower…Brody stumbles into my path—barefoot no less,
and sexy as hell. His direct and mouth-watering swagger is a breath of fresh air.
The feelings this man gives me are like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
But Brody has a past.
A past that makes it nearly impossible for him to trust me and let us
become us in whatever capacity that may be.
Just when Brody and I truly connect,
just when I think that finding my soul-mate in college isn’t a total joke,
Jake comes back into my life…and messes things up…possibly for good.

Brody pulls me into his room, shuts the door, and presses me up against the back of it. His lips connect with mine and he strokes his thumb tenderly along my jaw. I groan into his mouth at the forceful entry of his tongue. Brody doesn’t kiss like a college boy, he kisses like a man.

“I thought about you all night,” he moans against my lips, and comes back in, pulling my lower lip into his mouth and gently scraping his teeth along it as he releases it.

I instantly pull it into my mouth, sucking off the remnants of the searing kiss he just laid on me. “Damn,” I whisper.

“Damn what?” he whispers back.

“Damn, this is going to be so hard.” I scrape my hands through the sides of his hair and kiss him passionately, taking control and showing him that while I love the power of his kiss—I can match it. He presses his hips against me in response and I let my hands fall down to my sides, feeling at a loss with the epic arousal approaching.

He strokes his hands softly down my arms, then grabs my wrists and pushes them up above my shoulders, pinning them to the door. Holy Jesus, this is too much.

now available now available coming soon

*If you’re new to Amy Daws…we recommend reading this new release, Becoming Us, first and, A Broken Us, second! Though they can be read in any order. 🙂

Hi Amy, thank you for agreeing to this interview. Tell us a little about yourself and your background?
I’m currently a TV commercial producer for a local network affiliate station in South Dakota. So I still have a day job…booo! But it’s not so bad. I write, shoot, and edit commercials for a living. So it’s creative and laid back. And really fun. I love it. But writing is definitely a huge passion of mine.

What started your writing?
Well, I went through many years of personal tragedies and sadness. I suffered from multiple miscarriages. In the course of about three years, I lost five babies. It was terrible. But magically, I got my happy ending. My daughter is two and feisty and cool and just badass. I love her like crazy. Anyways, after getting her, I realized how fortunate I was and what an incredible journey I went through. I call it tragically beautiful. I didn’t want to forget that journey and I wanted to be able to tell my daughter about it someday, so birthed my memoir, Chasing Hope.

Is Chasing Hope available for purchase?
Yes it is. I released it in May of 2014. It was my very first book and a huge learning experience for me in the book industry. It’s a true story obviously. It’s emotional and inspirational and will definitely make you go and hug your babies. I wrote it in a way where you read it like a novel, not necessarily a chronological autobiography. So I feel like I did something interesting there. I’m incredibly proud of it. The feedback has been amazing.

How did you branch out into fiction?
I’m a serial contemporary romance reader and really wanted to try my hand at a totally made up story. I wanted more creative freedom. With the memoir, I was limited. So birthed…A Broken Us, an adult contemporary romance. I released it in September of 2014.

What inspired you to write Becoming Us?
Well, Becoming Us, is the prequel to my, A Broken Us. A Broken Us starts off with a breakup…the title sort of gives it away, so I don’t think I’m revealing too much there. Anyways, I decided to write a prequel to that story because I was curious about Brody and Finley’s backstory. I had an idea in my head when I was writing A Broken Us…but I hadn’t totally flushed it out. The more I sat on it, the more curious I became! So…I thought…hey, I’ll write a prequel! If Star Wars can do it, why can’t I? J

What should the reading order be?
You can read Becoming Us and A Broken Us in any order, but I think now that both of the books are out, I’m going to suggest people start with the prequel. It gets you attached to Brody and Finley a bit more and it’ll make A Broken Us all the more powerful when you get to it!

Are these books a part of a series?
Yes! Becoming Us and A Broken Us are the beginnings of my London Lover Series. In both books, I created some amazing secondary characters that are demanding their stories to be finished/told. The secondary characters were easily fan favorites, so I’m excited to see how people respond when I give them full-length novels of their very own!

What’s going to be the third book in the London Lover series?
Leslie! Oh my goodness. Finley’s best friend, Leslie is SO LOUD in my head! She will not stop. I’ve been trying really hard to just focus on marketing Becoming Us and getting that out, but ideas for Leslie’s character keep screaming at me! I’ve had to cut numerous showers short because of Leslie. Don’t ask me why I get ideas in the shower because I have no damn clue! 😛 Leslie’s book is going to be called London Bound and it’s going to be very dramatic and even a little dark, which should be interesting because Leslie is such a silly, funny character. So there’s going to be a big juxtaposition worked in there that should be interesting. And Frank…I have to give Frank his HEA…and since he is Leslie’s gusband…he will definitely get some time to shine in London Bound. I can’t wait to really dive into all of that.

Amy lives in South Dakota with her husband, Kevin, and their miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy’s contemporary romance books are a part of the The London Lover Series and currently have two installments out with more to come. Amy’s inspiration for writing is and always will be her six precious angel babies and her daughter. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

1 Grand Prize Winner will receive signed paperbacks of
Becoming Us & A Broken Us + a Swag Pack
1 Winner will receive a $10 Amazon Giftcard
(click below to register)
a Rafflecopter giveaway

2014 Blur

December 31, 2014December 31, 2014Amy Daws 2 Comments

Looking back on 2014, I’m shocked and awed at all that I have accomplished.

Before you think this is going to be a brag session…please hear me out.

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2013 ended on a very sad note for my family when I lost my sixth baby.
Nevaeh Peace was a true gift and I cherished being able to carry her inside me for those 18 weeks.
Holding her tiny body on my chest is a sensation that I will never forget and I still get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

Prior to losing Nevaeh, I had started taking some notes about my losses. Writing had always felt therapeutic to me and getting out all my sad stories while sobbing over top of a keyboard is what helped me process. However, when I lost Nevaeh, I wanted to do more than “process.”

I wanted to memorialize.

So, Nevaeh inspired me to make 2014 MY year. She inspired me to turn a negative into a positive. A sadness into a happiness. And a depressing story…into one of HOPE. So birthed, Chasing Hope, and the beginning of a crazy, beautiful, and challenging journey of becoming an author.

Seeing my family’s story of heartbreak in a bound book was an incredible sense of achievement. And receiving emails, facebook messages, and letters from people who my story personally affected, was more than I ever hoped for.

So doing what I do best…I pushed for more. When I’m passionate about something, it consumes me until I finish. I’ve always been this way. Whether it’s reading all the Twilight books in one week, pouring over discussion forums on how to train our new puppy, or even researching recurrent pregnancy loss specialists and textbooks. I go all in.

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So birthed…
The London Lover Series.
I’ve always loved reading contemporary romance.
So when I had an idea that I thought sounded interesting, I decided to go for it.
I wrote A Broken Us in two weeks and now have another book in the series, Becoming Us, releasing January 13th.

Becoming an author and publishing nearly three books in 2014 is a complete surprise. But I’ve been welcomed into the writing community with open arms. Am I successful at it? HECK NO! Does it make me want to quit? Not a chance. And the reason for that is because I have this rockin’ family at home rooting me on. I know that I would not be able to write down one single word if it wasn’t for the incredible support of my family. My husband picks up the slack, listens to my rants, does my accounting, and tolerates this crazy writing obsession of mine. He’s the shiz. And my curly-haired, two-year-old, miracle baby is all the inspiration I need to keep chasing my dreams and never giving up.

Hey, it’s that very attitude that got me her.

Paperback Giveaway!

December 19, 2014December 19, 2014Amy Daws Leave a comment

Gather round…Gather round…it’s GIVEAWAY TIME!!!!

I’m giving away a paperback ADVANCE READER COPY of my new upcoming novel of Becoming Us!!! Boy oh boy oh boy! Get an exclusive paperback ARC mailed right to your door! PLUS, I’m throwing in a copy of my newly face-lifted cover of A Broken Us and some sweet swag. That’s 2 paperbacks (1 is an ARC yo) and some sweet swag!
Here’s how to enter:
1. Post a review of A Broken Us on Amazon or Goodreads (ABU is only 99 cents right now!!)
2. Copy the review link
3. Fill out this entry form (also listed below)–> http://bit.ly/1v19Huf
4. Twiddle your thumbs until Jan. 2nd when I will announce the winner!
If you haven’t posted a review yet, there’s still time! And bloggers, you sexy beasts, are very very welcome to enter!

Where It All Began

November 19, 2014November 19, 2014Amy Daws Leave a comment

I have a lot of new followers on my site these days, so I thought it was time I did a post about how I ~~became a writer~~ started writing. <—-I still cringe at calling myself an author or a writer because it still doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t seem believeable. But I have two published books out there, and three more on the way, so I best get over myself!

Here’s the deal. I lived in darkness with my husband for five long years.

For five long, sad, and somewhat miserable years, we went through a struggle together that no one truly knew the depths of. That bothered me. NO ONE KNEW! It felt like people didn’t really know the real me! Some are the suffer in silence types. Not me. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a loud-mouth, obnoxious, extroverted goof. Middle Child Syndrome through and through.

So, I wanted to change that. I started writing my experience. I thought at first, it would just be something nice to have on a shelf to always remember. Because even though it was sad and tragic, I didn’t want to forget. Then I thought…maybe I’ll let my mom read it. And then it was like, ‘Oh my Gosh, this story is so much more than just my experience. I have to put it out there!’

So, Chasing Hope snow-balled and I cannot begin to tell you what an incredible experience it has been sharing it. Chasing Hope is my family’s true story. If you want to laugh, cry, scream, giggle…you may want to pick it up and read it. I’m incredibly proud of it and it offers a glimpse into a world not many people know about. It will make you want to hug your babies, hug your family members, or just appreciate life more. It’s one of those books that you read and just feel better about life when you’ve finished.

And if memoirs aren’t your thing…Chasing Hope inspired me to branch out into adult contemporary romance. Writing fiction was a ton of fun for me. A Broken Us was an idea that was inspired by a very small part of Chasing Hope. Sort of a “what if” scenario that popped into my head. I’m incredibly proud of it and the reviews it has received! The next book of this series, Becoming Us, releases in January.

Thanks for taking the time to read this post! It’s been a whirlwind of a year, diving into the world of indie publishing. But I’ve met so many incredible people along the way.
And if you don’t follow me on social media…you should totes start. I speak way more candidly over there! 😉

Teaming Up!

September 4, 2014Amy Daws Leave a comment

I’m teaming up with author, Sarah J. Pepper, for the South Dakota Festival of Books happening in a few weeks. Sarah is an awesome author and friend and I can’t wait to have some fun with her at the bookfest!

Interview with Elizabeth Petrucelli of All That is Seen and Unseen: A Journey Through a First Trimester Miscarriage

August 14, 2014August 14, 2014Amy Daws Leave a comment

Elizabeth Petrucelli is a woman I met online that helped me along tremendously with publishing my memoir, Chasing Hope. Navigating the fields of independent publishing can be extremely difficult but it’s the generosity of other indie authors out there, like Elizabeth, that really help make it a positive experience!

cover photo

Elizabeth’s book, All That is Seen and Unseen takes you on a journey through the heartwrenching experience of losing a child in the first trimester. Read the full synopsis here.

About the Author:

Elizabeth is a professional birth assistant (doula), childbirth educator, and parenting instructor. The pregnancy with her daughter, Ruby Josephine, was her inspiration for her book, All That is Seen and Unseen – A Journey Through a First Trimester Miscarriage. Her most recent publication, The First Night: Small Town Fumblings of a Rookie Police Officer is now also available on Amazon. Elizabeth lives with her husband and two sons in Parker, CO. Join her as she educates the world and brings peace to women regarding first trimester miscarriage.

Interview with the Author:

Tell me a little about what inspired you to write this book?

When I experienced my miscarriage, I searched the internet for a book with women sharing their miscarriage stories. I needed to find some normalcy to my feelings and to know I wasn’t alone. I also needed to know what to expect. I couldn’t find anything. Sure, there were many books on later miscarriages and stillbirths but my baby had died at a little over eight weeks gestation and there was very little. I found two books that mentioned stories from first trimester miscarriage. I felt like if I was needing a book, there were others that needed one too. My inspiration came from the lack of support books on the subject.

What was the purpose for your book?

My book has several purposes. First, it is to share my story. There is so much healing in letting others know. Second, I feel it is important for the world to see just how painful a first trimester miscarriage can be. Not everyone feels the way I did, but many do and they have no support. They are often told to “get over it” or that “it (the baby) wasn’t real.” This can be very real and very traumatic and women deserve to know they are not alone. The book is also wonderful for medical professionals who work with women who miscarry. I had nurses in emergency departments read my book who felt awful at how they treated women who were miscarrying in the first trimester. This book was a real eye opener for them. The book closes with resources and ideas on how to remember their baby. My hope is that women read the book and see all the options they have such as naming their baby, burying their baby, and having a memorial.

What were the range of emotions you felt while writing the book?

I cried a lot while writing the book. I would “plug in” to drown out any outside noise and listen to one song that I felt explained my grief (Held by Natalie Grant). I would listen to the song over and over as I typed as fast as my fingers could capture my thoughts. Oftentimes I would stumble because I could not type as fast as I was thinking. I was also very excited to get the book out there for others to read so even though it was hard and I cried, I was ready to help other women.

How did your husband feel about you writing the book?

I had Jason read the manuscript before it was published. He was supportive of the book but there are many intimate details in the book that I felt I needed his approval before putting them out there for everyone to read. I had really hoped that he would write the Foreward for the book but he did not want to share which is okay but I have often heard that the book has nothing from the male perspective on miscarriage.

When did you decide to become a writer?

I don’t think I ever really decided to become a writer. I have always loved writing and I remember as a little girl my mom praising me for the stories I wrote in school. I wished I still had those stories to look at. I have always journaled and I believe this is what led me to write my book. The book is full of my intimate journal entries. Readers can see exactly what I was thinking on those exact days during my loss. I enjoy writing so much, that I will continue to write and hope to dive into the world of fiction soon.

What other books have you written?

I have just published my second book, The First Night; Small Town Fumblings of a Rookie Police Officer, which is a comical story about my first night working as a police officer. I have three other books in the works though. A book on pregnancy and parenting after a loss, a book for childbirth educators specifically about teaching unexpected outcomes to pregnant families, and SWAT Wife which is a personal account about living with a SWAT Officer and how that affects the family. This book will have SWAT incidents in it, police funerals, and features a detailed account of how the Century 16 Aurora Theater Shooting affected our family.

If you had to give advice or words of encouragement to people going through your similar situation, what would it be?

I would tell them first and foremost that they are not alone. I know that it feels that way but there are so many of us out there that will walk this journey with you. I would also tell them that it’s very important to know their options. I didn’t know that I could bury my baby and that was really important to me. I also didn’t know how dangerous a D&C could be. It is portrayed as a simple procedure with little risk but there are big risks and I suffered from one of the complications from the procedure. I blog often about miscarriage options and the risks to different procedures. My blog can be found at http://www.allthatisseenandunseen.com/blog.

Purchase All That is Seen and Unseen Here and enter RUTUHVJH for 35% off!

Visit Elizabeth’s blog Here.
Visit Elizabeth’s Website Here.
Find her on Facebook Here and Here.

Work in Progress

July 31, 2014July 31, 2014Amy Daws Leave a comment

Here’s a little sneak peak of an excerpt from my novel coming soon!!!

Amy Daws, Author

bestselling romance author of the Harris Brothers Series and Wait With Me Series

author

Game Face in the World of Miscarriage