Not The One is my best work yet…

It’s a heavy thing to be able to type those words. But I did it. The early reviewers for Not The One are saying that this is my best work yet and I’m finally starting to believe them! After an awesome early release on iBooks, the good times just keep on coming now that I’m live everywhere!
I think one of the things I’m most proud about with this release is the cover. It’s just so fun to have an image that you’re completely proud of showcasing all the hard work you put inside. So I thought it’d be fun to release a few fun facts post about the cover of Not The One!
➜My two cover models aren’t actually models. They are just uber talented hair stylists from the town I live in in South Dakota!
➜Yes, her ink is real and it was amazingly inspiring during my writing process.
➜My sister in law shot my cover. And I pay her in food & drink & hugs. 😉
➜We had a baby sleeping on set during the entire shoot.
➜We had a puppy running around on set during the entire shoot.
➜We only shot for 50 minutes.
➜I do all the design and layout myself.
➜And no…they are not a real couple. 🙂 But I think they could play one on TV!
If you’re a new to me reader, Not The One is the perfect book to dive in and get your feet wet. It’s a great standalone and I am so proud of the team of people I had that helped me make this the best it could be!
Frank
 
Amy Daws is a commercial producer and lives in South Dakota with her husband and daughter. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired her passion for writing. Amy is a lover of all things British and her award-nominated romantic comedy series, The London Lovers Series, is centered around Americans in London. It’s emotional and self-deprecating with lots of humor sprinkled in. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

 

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The Most Magical Review Of All Time

You write a book.
You click publish.

The End, right?

Never…in a million…years.

Not The One is live on iBooks now. It goes live everywhere else December 8. My book baby is live and it’s funny because people have no idea what goes on behind the scenes when it comes to writing a book. The anxiety, the stress, the writing and rewriting…and most importantly…

The self doubt. 

During the editing process of Not The One, I became depressed. Reyna Miracle is the darkest character I have ever written…and I didn’t just write her…I lived in her. In my book, my heart was in London at the fourth floor Pimlico flat she lived in. She pulled me into the darkness with her. And I nearly drowned.

There was one night when I was laying in bed and stricken with grief over my story. I hated it. I  hated everything about it. I was sick to my stomach about messing it all up. I even angry-typed a horrid message into my phone. Prepare yourself…I was in a dark place:

The Dirty Truth:
There is so much self doubt in the writing process. Every book I release, I have a moment of heartache and pain and disappointment…and it is one thousand percent in myself. My aching heart tells me to stop doing what I’m doing. It screams, stop releasing mediocre crap! Just go back to reading and enjoying the fruits of someone else’s labor that will most certainly always be better than your own. And oh my god would that be a hell of a lot easier! And when you pour countless hours of your heart and soul, blood, sweat, and tears….real freaking tears…all into a blah story that’s just “eh” …. It hurts. It’s gut wrenching and you wish you could take it all back.
Every dull word. Every wasted minute. Every shred of hope.
That’s the life of a writer.

I told you…Reyna Miracle took me down the rabbit hole.

But then….THEN! You get the most magical review you’ve ever received. A review that literally stops your heart, stops your breath, stops the world from spinning…and just IS.

Goodreads review from Hopelessly Devoted to Books Blog: 
“This.Book.Broke.Me! This is the book that pushed Amy into a whole new league! She isn’t trading on a simple love story, this isn’t about her sense of humour, this is the book where she stepped out of the ”norm” she has done something here that, personally, i think is remarkable….Amy Daws has created an original idea! She’s written a story about a woman that saved herself. A woman on the brink of utter destruction. She’s the voice that pumps blood around Reyna’s body…but Reyna’s voice? This character is as real to me as my own son. I adore her. I sincerely doubt that any other author could’ve pulled this off and i salute you Madam Daws! And more importantly…i thank you. I thank you for spreading hope, i thank you for melting my heart a little and i thank you for staying true to Reyna’s voice…you’ve done us both proud!
5 Stars and my official book of the year…perhaps of all time.” 

And just like that, you remember why you do this all the bloody hell over again…because…

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Happy iBooks release week Not The One…dang you hurt…but the pain is worth this one magical review.

 

iTunes Exclusive Release Date: Dec 1
All Release Date: Dec 8
Find on Goodreads
~Not The One is Full Length Standalone Adult Romance~
My name is Reyna Miracle.
Even though a part of my name is Miracle, there’s nothing miraculous about me.
My body portrays the tales of my life.
Every feeling, every heartbreak, every emotion.
Marked. Inked. Stained.
A walking canvas of my messed up truth.
But there’s one confession I can’t put in a tattoo.
A confession that will kill me to tell, but my best friend died before I had the chance.
Now I’m left with him.
The only one who can hold me in the night and squeeze that spot on my neck that feels like my lifeline between sanity and chaos.
But we don’t work together.
We’re absolute poison for each other.
We’re a stifling, suffocating, sickness of darkness.
But I feel safe…because I’ve made an art of pushing people away.
Now he’s pushing back…
And making me believe…
Making me wonder…
Maybe, just maybe…
I could be the one.
On sale for $2.99 for a limited time
Amy Daws is a commercial producer and lives in South Dakota with her husband and daughter. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired her passion for writing. Amy is a lover of all things British and her award-nominated romantic comedy series, The London Lovers Series, is centered around Americans in London. It’s emotional and self-deprecating with lots of humor sprinkled in. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

 

Not The One Update

Happy Tuesday!

I have tour signups for Not The One! If you are a blogger and interested in helping with my release blitz, tour, or a read and review, please check out these forms:
Release Blitz: http://bit.ly/1OrpEsP
Blog Tour: http://bit.ly/1kwSGu6

I’m in the editing stages of Not The One. For those of you that have read all of my London Lovers Series…this book will feel like Book 4. However, for those that have not read LLS, fear not!

I’m releasing Not The One as a complete standalone in hopes of creating a spin off series! So if you’re new to me, this would be a great, hot, roller coaster ride of a read for you to get started with! early release banner

Not The One is releasing to iBooks December 1 and to all platforms on December 8th. ARCs will be going out soon!

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~Not The One is connected to the London Lovers Series
but will be released as a complete standalone~

 

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EARLY RELEASE!

I have some REALLY exciting news!

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Not The One is scheduled to release to all platforms on December 8th, but I am thrilled to inform you that it will now be releasing one week early with an iBooks Exclusive Early Release!

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I have really fallen in love with my iBooks family and am so thrilled for this opportunity. Not The One is currently up for preorder on iBooks, at a special reduced price for a limited time.

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Not The One goes live on iBooks December 1st!
It will go live to all other platforms on December 8th.

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I can’t wait for you all to meet Reyna Miracle. This book has pushed me way past my comfort zone and these characters are still weighing heavy on my heart…even after typing THE END!
Thank you for being on this journey with me.

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~Not The One is connected to the London Lovers Series
but will be released as a complete standalone~

My name is Reyna Miracle.
Even though a part of my name is Miracle, there’s nothing miraculous about me.
My body portrays the tales of my life.
Every feeling, every heartbreak, every emotion.
Marked. Inked. Stained.
A walking canvas of my messed up truth.

But there’s one confession I can’t put in a tattoo.
A confession that will kill me to tell, but my best friend died before I had the chance.

Now I’m left with him.
The only one who can hold me in the night and squeeze that spot on my neck that feels like my lifeline between sanity and chaos.

But we don’t work together.
We’re absolute poison for each other.
We’re a stifling, suffocating, sickness of darkness.

But I feel safe…because I’ve made an art of pushing people away.

Now he’s pushing back…
And making me believe…
Making me wonder…
Maybe, just maybe…
I could be the one.

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Finding Inspiration in Sadness

So I had a blog post all ready to go this morning to memorialize my six precious angel babies in honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day…but then inspiration struck…

…in the shower.

My daughter is just chilling in the living room, watching Cinderella and eating Pops…cuz ye know, it’s Thursday, when suddenly inspiration PUMMELS me. It’s so bad that I have to step out of the shower with conditioner still in my hair, and talk all my ideas into my phone.

You see, right now I’m working on the next book in my romance series and I’m going deep on this one. Many ask me how I went from writing a memoir in recurrent pregnancy loss to adult contemporary romance, and if you’ve read A Broken Us, my first romance novel…you know that it all started with infertility. I wanted to bring the face of infertility into an epic love story that would give it a larger platform than memoir provides. It just snowballed from there.

Writing for me is so much more than a smutty love story. It’s about tapping into emotions and the way people think and feel and react. It’s about telling a story of how someone can get past all the crap in life to find love and a happily ever after. Because that’s what I found.

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But not everyone is as lucky as me. I’m sitting here after losing six freaking babies and telling you that I KNOW I’m one of the lucky ones. I got my baby. I got my HEA. But what about those who haven’t? What about those still suffering through loss, still grieving, still aching, still waiting for their rainbow baby?

My advice is…inspiration

Find something that fulfills you and drives you and use those angel babies to inspire you to go after it. That’s what writing and publishing books has become for me. So now, when inspiration strikes and I get that magical AHA moment…I wonder know where it comes from.

My six angels.

October 15th is National Pregnancy and Miscarriage Loss Awareness Day. The entire month of October honors this but on the 15th at 7:00 in the evening, no matter what timezone you’re in, you’re supposed to light a candle honoring the precious babies you have lost. It’s supposed to create this gorgeous wave of light across the world. My family and I will definitely be doing that.

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In the meantime, I want to share an excerpt from one of my angel baby’s whose story hasn’t been told yet. We lost Nevaeh Peace Daws on November 11, 2013 at 18 weeks pregnant. It was our most devastating loss to date and will be included in it’s entirety in Chasing Peace…which I hope to release later this year. Below is an excerpt of our precious baby that we said goodbye to, much too soon.

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Unedited Excerpt 
By Amy Daws
Copyright Amy Daws

“This is it, isn’t it?” I cried to the doctor. There was no holding back my emotions now. I knew better. I knew prolapsed membranes were about as bad as it could get right now.

The doctor looked at me apologetically and said he wanted to try and manage my pain so we could make it until morning so my personal doctor could decide what he wanted to do. He excused himself so he could go call my doctor and update him on my status.

The tech looked so sad and tired. She knew me. She knew my history. I was the only girl they ever did ultrasounds on with an abdominal cerclage. I knew all the techs by a first name basis, so they knew my story just as well.

After being taken back to my triage room, my labor progressed to where I was screaming and thrashing in pain. They doubled and even quadrupled my pain meds but nothing was working. Finally the doctor came back in and said we just couldn’t wait any longer…I couldn’t continue laboring like I was on that cerclage. It wasn’t safe because at any moment I could start bleeding out.

It was then he said, “We have to deliver the baby.”

I looked back at him broken hearted, “But the baby’s still alive! We’d be killing the baby right?” I was bawling now asking questions I already knew the answers to.

“The baby can’t survive without fluid in your uterus and yours is almost entirely prolapsed through the cervix right now. There’s no meds we can give you to stop the contractions because you’re too early gestationally. The meds don’t work this early on. If we don’t do something now, your uterus will rupture. That’s very serious.”

I looked at him and in that moment I was so hurt and so tired and so emotionally beaten, I just didn’t care anymore, “Ok fine, just get it out, and get it over with. I’m done, I’m so so done. I don’t want any more kids. We have one, that’s enough.” I pleaded with him desperately.

He suggested instead of a mini C-section like my emergency plan called for, he wanted to go in abdominally, snip the cerclage off, close up and then let the baby delivery vaginally. This way he wouldn’t have to cut in to my very small uterus.

In my right mind, I knew that wasn’t what we should have done because that would eliminate my cerclage that I worked so hard to get. This cerclage was supposed to be a permanent fixture in my body. It was supposed to remain in place for subsequent pregnancies. But I was in the midst of the worst pain of my life and just didn’t care.

Kevin must have felt the same way because he didn’t speak up to tell the doctor anything different. I think we both knew we were in way over our heads at this point with the kind of pain I was suffering from.

“I won’t have to deliver the baby when I wake up will I?” I asked him.

“No, I think once I take out the cerclage, the baby should engage in the birth canal on it’s own right away.” He answered.

“Ok, I don’t want to wake up and have to push the baby out, I want it out while I’m still asleep.” The doctor nodded thoughtfully at me.

Once I agreed to the surgery, four nurses rushed in and busied themselves around me prepping me for surgery. I was signing papers telling them they could give me a hysterectomy if need be. Meanwhile, the doctor was telling Kevin he was worried about whether or not he’d be able to find the cerclage or if it would be covered by scar tissue and difficult to locate. They were calling in extra blood from the blood bank and then, my water broke.

A huge gush of fluid and pressure came pouring out between my legs. It was like a dam had released, “Something big just came out!” I screamed.

A nurse came and lifted my gown and said, “It was just your water hon, your water just broke.” She said.

I began to feel some relief from the intense contractions I’d been having. The doctor came in and said this is actually a blessing because now we have no choice but to deliver. Before that, I guess our decision was, in a small way…terminating a healthy baby because of pregnancy complications. By my water breaking, it made it a necessity, not a choice.

I looked over at Kevin and he looked overwhelmed and scared shitless. It all was scary. I looked over to the doctor and said, “I don’t know you. You’re not my doctor, but I need to come back from this. I need you to know that I have an 18-month-old baby at home that needs me. She needs me! She is everything to me! This needs to all be ok.”

He assured me he would do everything in his power but there were a lot of unknown elements. The nurses then said it was time to go, so Kevin kissed me quickly and said he’d see me soon. As the medical team pushed the bed and me down the hall, I felt so very alone and so very sad. Kevin was instructed to wait in Labor and Delivery Triage. I can’t imagine the sight of watching your significant other get wheeled away to emergency surgery while you have to stay back, helpless and alone.

I was crying softly when one of the nurses reached under the blanket and grabbed my hand. She rubbed it soothingly as we passed through the maize of hallways and hospital corridors. It felt like we were moving at warp speed, but her strokes were soft and sincere. I remember her telling me over and over that it was going to be all right. She only stopped stroking my hand when we reached the O.R. and they needed to transfer me to the operating table.

Staring up at the ceiling, the medical team all busied themselves prepping me for surgery. Even with a huge team of people around me, it still felt like it was just me and my little baby in the room. I took a moment and rubbed my small belly. I whispered softly, “Good-bye my little fighter. I’m so so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could have kept you, but I can’t.” I sobbed loudly and tears streamed down my temples and into my hairline.

The anesthesiologist came over with a washcloth and wiped away the moisture on my face. He didn’t say anything encouraging. He didn’t tell me I was going to be alright. He just wiped my tears. That silence screamed volumes. He knew. He knew what a horrible and rotten situation this was and since words failed him, he offered a simple touch instead. Eventually he put a mask over my face and told me to take ten deep breaths. Before I passed out, the last thing I remember was my own hand continually rubbing my small belly.


 10689481_1510303915911294_5779867820127012396_nAmy Daws lives in South Dakota with her husband, and miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, a memoir called Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy is a lover of all things British and her award-nominated romantic comedy series, The London Lovers Series, is centered around Americans in London. It’s emotional and self-deprecating with lots of humor sprinkled in.
On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

For more of Amy’s work, visit: http://www.amydawsauthor.com

Game Face in the World of Miscarriage

Typically my newsletters reside around book news…but today’s is a bit more personal.

Today my best friend in the whole world celebrates her 5-Year wedding anniversary. While she looks back and remembers all the beautiful friends and family gathered around her, laughing, drinking, celebrating…
collage picsI remember standing in the stall of a hotel bathroom, wadding up my chiffon bridesmaid dress and injecting a 1 1/2 inch needle into my butt.im progesteroneThe needle is thick too. It has to be because I was injecting progesterone in oil, a hormone that is often prescribed for women suffering from recurrent pregnancy loss.
hqdefaultI nicked a vein, as you sometimes can, and when I pulled the needle out, a fountain of blood squirted out in it’s wake. Being prepared for this exact moment, I had a wad of toilet paper tucked into the waistband of my Spanx and was able to put pressure on the bleed right away.

I slapped on a bandaid, yanked up my spanx…and went back out into the party.

Game. Face. On.

game face

A Game Face is a vital necessity when you’re living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility. You see, three days prior to this…I was living in hell.

My husband, Kevin and I had just found out we were pregnant…with twins. Exciting times for most, but scary as hell for us. This was pregnancy number three for us. I had suffered two miscarriages prior to this day. Miscarriage one at 12 weeks, miscarriage 2 at 12 weeks 2 day. Miscarriage two began on the due date of Pregnancy 1.

Life was funny like that.1018100741

At barely six weeks pregnant, I was cramping so badly I swore I had internal bleeding. Several ultrasounds and an ER visit later, my doctor informed me that he wasn’t sure what was going on but that we should NOT attend this wedding five hours away in Kansas City.

“But it’s my best friend! I’m the maid of honor!” I cried to him, sitting inside a dingy ER exam room. I was literally bleeding all over myself at the time because for whatever reason, ER’s don’t ever want you wearing clothes beneath your hospital gowns.

He gave me those sad, sympathetic doctor eyes but remained firm on his position.

Kevin and I got in the car and before the door was shut I was yelling, “There is no way in hell I’m missing DJ’s wedding, Kevin. No way!” DJ has been my best friend since we were babies. I convinced her to stick a popcorn seed up her nose in Kindergarden and we’ve been thick as thieves ever since. Thankfully, Kevin completely understood. He’s is good like that.

So my doctor wrote me a prescription for pregnancy safe pain medicine, handed us my HUGE medical record, and wrote down a list of all the nearest hospitals in KC. We were preparing for the worst to happen while we were there.hands

I would likely miscarry.

Most people probably look at me and think…are you crazy? Stay home! Lay down! Keep your babies safe! But when you’re living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss…life doesn’t stop. If I would have skipped out on every special event or evening out because I “might miscarry” or I “might be pregnant” … I would have been even more miserable than I already was.

And guys…I was pretty freaking miserable. It took us three years to get pregnant the first time and then I got the double whammy of being diagnosed a “habitual aborter”…at least, that’s what my medical records call recurrent miscarriage.

This is where the game face comes in.

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It’s party time, remember? My best friend is marrying the love of her life! So we dance, and we laugh, and we fake drink the night away…because the last thing I want to do is tell everyone I’m pregnant with twins but probably going to lose them before I get home. That’s the life of a Habitual Aborter. You mask the bad with the good. You perfect your Game Face. Because there’s no handicaps in the world of infertility and miscarriage. Every stroke is yours. Every bogey is recorded. And there’s no best ball.

Thankfully, I made it through the wedding, but I later lost both those beautiful babies. It wasn’t in Kansas City though. Baby A passed away around 9 weeks and Baby B literally fell into my hands over a toilet bowl in labor and delivery at 14 weeks pregnant.

But here’s the funny thing…the real kicker…  

Today, when my bestie posts a beautiful blog spread, celebrating her amazing day…it doesn’t make me sad at all. It doesn’t make me mourn the loss of those babies. It makes me feel closer to those precious lives I lost. It makes me feel like I shared one of the most beautiful memories with them. They were with me…inside of me…when I watched my best friend walk down the isle.

They were with me then…

They are with me now…

And they certainly….are with this little miracle that I ate fruit loops with in bed this morning.

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My point is…regardless of the bad…regardless of the sad…regardless of the horrid memories we all walk around with…it’s all shaping us into who we are. You just have to put on your game face, and get back in there. Because shooting for that big WIN is what makes memories worth keeping.


 10689481_1510303915911294_5779867820127012396_nAmy Daws lives in South Dakota with her husband, and miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy’s first book, a memoir called Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy is a lover of all things British and her award-nominated romantic comedy series, The London Lovers Series, is centered around Americans in London. It’s emotional and self-deprecating with lots of humor sprinkled in.
On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake’s theme song or stuffing themselves inside children’s-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn’t do for their little miracle.

For more of Amy’s work, visit: http://www.amydawsauthor.com

Fairy Tale Confessions is LIVE and Giveaways Galore!

4 awesome things happening today!!!
Here’s the run down:

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Fairy
Tale Confessions is LIVE
Handsome Prince

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~ Synopsis ~

Fourteen bestselling authors twist up your favorite tales. Will your favorite have a happily-ever-after?

Get ready to meet some sexy, not-so-valiant princes, punk-rock princesses, villains turned heroes, and truly vile monsters wreaking havoc within our favorite tales.

Read about Dancing Princesses getting their groove on in a disco club, a seriously sexy Rumpelstiltskin, and one alluring Puss-in-Boots, plus many, many more captivating characters in these fourteen all new short-stories.

(This collection and its authors are being featured at RT 2016 at the Fairy Tale Costume Party in Vegas, hosted by Sarah J. Pepper and Tish Thawer. Be sure to get your copy and stop by if you’re attending the event.)

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~ Purchase Links ~

Amazon US  ~  Amazon UK  ~  Amazon CA  ~  Amazon AU
iBooks US  ~  iBooks UK  ~  iBooks CA  ~  iBooks AU
Barnes & Noble

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GIVEAWAY
eCopy of Fairy Tale Confessions & $100 Amazon Gift Card

a Rafflecopter giveaway


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My Becoming Us freebie sale is doing awesome! This morning I was ranked number 77 in the Amazon free store and that is crazy! I didn’t think I would have those kinds of numbers until my Bookbub feature coming up in a couple weeks! So thanks to all who have shared that!!!
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red-number-3 I am sharing a table at the RT Readers and Writers Roundup in Houston next weekend with Liv Morris!!! Liv seems so awesome and we are having a blast with a crazy giveaway!

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Signup for Giveaway Here! 


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Book 4 in the London lovers series is coming along nicely! “Not The One” is taking me to a place I’ve never been with my writing and that is thrilling and scary all at the same time! I’m hoping for a release date in November, but I’m not sure if I can do that yet! I’ll keep you all posted.
I’m shooting the cover this weekend and you KNOW I’ll give you all a sneak peek!!!!
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That’s all for now! Happy reading!!!